What Is Spiritual Direction and How Do You Know You’re Ready for One?
Spiritual direction is a sacred practice rooted in Christian tradition, and it offers a space for prayerful conversation and deep inner listening. It goes beyond general reflection or religious discussion. In spiritual direction, a trained companion, called a spiritual director, accompanies you as you reflect on your life and seek to recognize how God is present in your thoughts, choices, emotions and everyday experiences.
Unlike a class or sermon, spiritual direction is not about instruction. It is about presence. The director’s role is to listen with reverence and help you become more aware of the spiritual invitations already unfolding within you.
If you're facing a life transition, feeling disconnected from your faith or sensing a need to grow closer to God, spiritual direction provides space to explore that desire with honesty and care.
Table Of Contents:
Spiritual Direction at Mission San Luis Rey
How to Prepare for Spiritual Direction
What Happens in a Spiritual Direction Session?
What Do Spiritual Directors Do?
What Are the Stages of Spiritual Direction?
How to Find a Spiritual Director
Spiritual Director vs. Spiritual Advisor: What’s the Difference?
When Are You Ready for Spiritual Direction?
Benefits of Ongoing Spiritual Direction Over Time
Spiritual Direction at Mission San Luis Rey
For those looking for experienced, compassionate spiritual directors in California, Mission San Luis Rey offers a peaceful setting and deeply rooted spiritual tradition. Located in Northern San Diego County, the Mission welcomes seekers of all backgrounds who want to develop a deeper connection with God through intentional, one-on-one direction.
The spiritual direction program at Mission San Luis Rey draws from centuries of Franciscan spirituality. Each session invites the directee into sacred conversation, grounded in stillness, humility and mutual respect. While rooted in Catholic tradition, the program is open to people from all walks of life who desire greater spiritual clarity.
Sessions are typically held once a month, lasting around 50–60 minutes. They can take place in person on the peaceful Mission grounds or remotely via video. These conversations are confidential and shaped entirely around the directee’s needs. Spiritual directors at the Mission are trained to create an environment that is calm, accepting and open to the Spirit’s quiet work.
The setting itself - the historic buildings, gardens, and chapels - helps support a slower pace and deeper attention. While spiritual direction can take place anywhere, the Mission offers an intentional space for discernment and spiritual grounding.
What Is Spiritual Direction?
Spiritual direction is a time-honored practice within the Christian tradition that creates space for quiet reflection, meaningful dialogue and attentive spiritual listening. It invites more than surface-level conversation, offering a way to explore your inner life in light of God’s presence.
This process is not reserved for clergy or people with formal theological training. Spiritual direction is for anyone who desires to grow spiritually, make sense of their faith journey, or explore difficult or joyful moments in the light of God’s presence.
Spiritual direction is different from therapy or counseling. While it can be deeply healing, its primary aim is spiritual, not psychological or emotional. The focus is always your relationship with God, and the pace is unhurried and contemplative.
You may talk about prayer, struggles in faith, moments of gratitude or even experiences of spiritual silence. The director helps you stay present to these themes and see them with new depth and attention.
Common Experiences That Lead People to Seek Spiritual Direction
People are drawn to spiritual direction for many different reasons. While the surface concerns may vary. Confusion, transition, dryness in prayer, the underlying impulse is often the same: a desire to live more consciously in relationship with God.
Some come because they’ve reached a turning point and feel unsure how to move forward. Others have been deeply committed to their faith for years but sense something shifting beneath the surface - new questions, new longings, or a need to listen more closely. Spiritual direction gives these experiences a place to be named, explored and honored.
Below are examples of common life experiences that often prompt people to begin direction:
- Vocational Uncertainty - You may be discerning a new direction in your career, relationships or calling. Spiritual direction provides space to examine not only practical questions, but the deeper motivations and spiritual movements behind them.
- Loss, Grief or Illness - In times of suffering, it’s natural to wrestle with God's presence or absence. A spiritual director helps hold your questions without rushing you toward answers.
- Transitions - Retirement, becoming a parent, moving to a new city or aging all come with identity shifts that may surface spiritual questions. These moments often awaken a desire to connect more intentionally with your inner life.
- Spiritual Dryness or Silence - You may feel disconnected from prayer, community, or God. Rather than avoiding that feeling, spiritual direction gently helps you explore what it may be asking of you.
- A New Season of Growth - Some enter direction not because they are struggling, but because they are sensing new life stirring - a desire to deepen prayer, engage Scripture more personally, or explore a new way of being faithful.
Spiritual direction doesn’t require a dramatic story. Often, it begins with quiet internal nudges - questions that linger, a desire to slow down, or a growing sense that something deeper is calling. That may be the sign it’s time to seek spiritual companionship.
How to Prepare for Spiritual Direction
Preparing for spiritual direction doesn’t require spiritual expertise. It begins with a desire to be open. Whether you're feeling distant from God or experiencing a renewed interest in prayer, the first step is showing up with honesty.
Before your session, consider reflecting on your recent spiritual experiences. These might include moments of restlessness, joy, prayer, frustration or longing. You might ask yourself:
- When did I last feel truly alive or connected to something greater?
- Are there any questions I’ve been carrying that I haven’t spoken aloud?
- What has been drawing my attention in recent weeks, internally or externally?
Some find it helpful to write in a journal beforehand. Others arrive without preparation, trusting the conversation to unfold. There is no “wrong” way to begin. Your spiritual director is there to walk with you, not to evaluate or correct you.
What Happens in a Spiritual Direction Session?
Spiritual direction sessions usually take place once a month and last about an hour. The setting is quiet and private.
Each session begins with a pause, perhaps a moment of silence or a short prayer, and then the conversation unfolds based on what you bring. You might talk about a recent life event, a feeling you can’t quite name, or a prayer experience that left an impression.
The director’s role is to listen deeply and respond with thoughtful, often open-ended questions. They may help you notice patterns in your spiritual life or point gently to areas where you seem invited to grow.
There is often silence in these sessions, and that silence is meaningful. It allows space for thought, emotion or prayer to surface without pressure to speak. Over time, this rhythm of reflective conversation helps bring greater awareness, freedom, and spiritual clarity.
What Do Spiritual Directors Do?
Spiritual directors are trained to be attentive listeners. They create a safe, sacred space for you to explore how God may be working in your life. Their formation often includes years of theological study, pastoral ministry and supervised practice in the art of contemplative listening.
Rather than direct or instruct, they:
- Hold space for spiritual reflection
- Ask questions that invite deeper awareness
- Help you notice God’s presence or absence in specific experiences
- Encourage your unique spiritual path without imposing theirs
- Support discernment around faith decisions, prayer or daily living
They do not offer therapy, solve problems or tell you what to believe. Their role is not to lead, but to accompany.
What Are the Stages of Spiritual Direction?
Spiritual direction tends to unfold in natural phases, though the experience is deeply personal and varies widely. Many people go through the following stages:
Initial Curiosity
You begin feeling drawn to explore your spiritual life more intentionally. This may arise from questions, transitions or a sense of spiritual longing.
Discernment and First Meetings
You meet with a spiritual director to see if the relationship is a good fit. The first few sessions are exploratory and open-ended.
Deepening Awareness
With time, the relationship deepens. You begin to see spiritual patterns, notice God’s presence more easily and grow more comfortable with silence and inner listening.
Integration
Insights from direction begin to influence how you live, pray, work and relate. Discernment becomes part of your daily rhythm.
Ongoing Companionship
The relationship continues as long as it supports your growth. Some people meet with the same director for years; others move on once clarity emerges.
How to Find a Spiritual Director
A good spiritual director is someone with whom you feel spiritually safe. The connection is deeply personal and sometimes takes time to discern.
You can begin by contacting retreat centers or programs such as the one at Mission San Luis Rey. There, you can be paired with a director based on your spiritual needs, tradition, and comfort level. You might also speak with someone from your local parish or faith community who has gone through direction themselves.
When evaluating whether a director is right for you, consider:
- Do I feel truly heard and respected?
- Is this person present, thoughtful and grounded in prayer?
- Are they helping me grow more aware of God’s presence?
Don’t be afraid to try more than one meeting before committing. The goal is a spiritual companionship built on mutual trust.
Spiritual Director vs. Spiritual Advisor: What’s the Difference?
While the terms are often used interchangeably, there are subtle distinctions worth noting.
A spiritual director is trained specifically to facilitate contemplative reflection and help you discern God’s presence through open-ended listening. The relationship is guided by the Holy Spirit and centers around prayerful awareness.
A spiritual advisor may offer more structured guidance based on tradition, doctrine or pastoral practice. This can include helping with faith-related decisions, religious practice, or ethical concerns.
At Mission San Luis Rey, spiritual advisors – Pat Julian and Br. Dick (DT) Tandy, OFM - often fill both roles, adapting their approach to the needs of the person they accompany. Regardless of the title, the emphasis is always on helping you grow closer to God.
When Are You Ready for Spiritual Direction?
There is no perfect moment to begin spiritual direction, but certain experiences or feelings often signal readiness:
- You’re facing a major life change and want to discern your next steps prayerfully
- You feel spiritually dry or disconnected and are looking to reconnect with God
- You’ve had a recent awakening or insight you want to explore
- You want to develop a more consistent or meaningful prayer life
- You carry spiritual questions that won’t go away
You don’t have to be “advanced” in faith. All that’s required is openness and a desire to grow.
Benefits of Ongoing Spiritual Direction Over Time
Spiritual direction is not a one-time consultation. Its value becomes most visible through a consistent, long-term relationship. Meeting regularly with a spiritual director allows you to develop a rhythm of reflection and discernment that gradually becomes part of your daily life.
One of the most significant benefits of ongoing direction is the shift from reactive spirituality to attentive spirituality. Instead of turning to prayer or discernment only during crises, you begin to notice God’s presence woven through ordinary moments like conversations, decisions, frustrations and joys.
Some of the key benefits that unfold over time include:
- Deeper Self-Awareness - With regular guidance, you begin to recognize spiritual patterns, emotional triggers, and inner movements that were previously hidden. This awareness makes space for more thoughtful, grace-filled choices.
- Greater Clarity in Discernment - When faced with important decisions, ongoing direction provides a trusted space to prayerfully explore options. Over time, you’ll become more attuned to how God communicates through peace, resistance, desire and silence.
- Sustained Growth in Prayer - Spiritual direction often leads to a more meaningful and consistent prayer life. You’ll be introduced to new prayer methods or encouraged to return to ones that once nurtured you but have fallen away. Your director may help you recognize when it’s time to rest in silence, wrestle with Scripture, or bring unfiltered honesty to God.
- Companionship in Spiritual Desolation - Everyone experiences seasons when God feels distant. Ongoing direction offers stability and companionship in these times. A trained director will help you explore what that dryness might be teaching you rather than seeing it as failure.
- Integration of Faith and Daily Life - With regular direction, spirituality becomes less compartmentalized. You begin to connect your faith with your work, family life, decisions, and relationships. Spiritual direction helps bridge Sunday and Monday, prayer and action.
- Resilience Through Life’s Changes - Because direction isn’t outcome-focused, it provides steady support through life’s fluctuations. Your spiritual director becomes a consistent witness to your unfolding journey, helping you reflect not only on what changes but how you are being transformed in the process.
The fruits of spiritual direction don’t always arrive quickly. They build slowly, through repeated acts of reflection and trust. With time, the sessions become a way of living with intention and openness to the sacred in all things.
Beginning Spiritual Direction at Mission San Luis Rey
Starting spiritual direction doesn’t require a dramatic life change or deep theological background. What matters most is the willingness to pause, reflect and explore your relationship with God in a deeper way. If you’ve been carrying spiritual questions, sensing a quiet nudge to grow or simply need space to talk honestly about your faith, this may be the right time to begin.
Mission San Luis Rey makes the first step approachable. You can request an introductory conversation with one of the Mission’s trained spiritual advisors to explore if it feels like a good fit. These directors are experienced in walking with people at all stages of life - from those just beginning their spiritual journey to those seeking renewal after decades of faith.
Sessions are held both in person and online, making them accessible whether you live in San Diego County or elsewhere in California. Some people meet monthly; others begin with a few sessions to see how it supports them. You are never pressured to commit. The invitation is simple: come as you are and listen with someone who is trained to help you notice what matters most.
You don’t have to know where this journey will lead. Spiritual direction begins with presence, honesty and a willingness to listen to yourself, to your life, and to God.
